Peace out....

.......HORMONES! 

Yay.  Take that!  For the first time in way too long I am officially hormone free. 

Don't get it twisted folks.  What I mean is man made hormones.  No more pills, no more shots, no more inserts or patches.  No more to prevent, no more to make .... just no more.

I don't know what this will bring or how things will roll out, but I am super excited. 

There are many of you who read this blog who know exactly what I am talking about when you have experienced fertility issues.  That stuff takes a toll.

Bye bye!  Just one example here....
(PS- some of you still need this- think about it, just sayin)

To those of you who are just now thinking or have just "pulled the goalie" with no birth control for hopes of a babe-  you also know what I am talking about.  Even as "simple" as birth control can seem- it also takes its toll. 


So maybe, if I am a little more bonkers than normal, you know why.  OR if you know me, you better tell me I am a little more bonkers than normal.  :) 

Still learning....

I continue to be amazed by my son.  There are plenty of days I step back and go, "whoh, I am a Mom to this cool ass Ninja" (ya we say that).

What I think is super cool is HE is teaching me so much.  I can only hope I am teaching him as well....

I have had some things happen in the past weeks that have tested so much of what I believe in, what I know, what I stand for and quite frankly some shit that would normally drive me to crazy town. 

I have to say because of this sweet Ninja I find myself stepping back and looking at the bigger picture. 

I laughed at those who thought they could break bonds.  I embraced those who are here even more for their love and kindness.  I was reminded that no matter how much time passes- a true friendship is always there. 

A very dear friend of mine enclosed this in a card for sweet Owen and I am still moved......

 

Bless this little heart, this white soul has won the kiss of heave for our earth.

He loves the light of sun, he loves the sight of his Mothers face.

 

He has not learned to despise the dust, and to hanker after gold.

 

Clasp him to your heart and bless him.  He has come into this land of a hundred crossroads.

 

I know not how he chose you from the crowd, came to your door, and grasped your hand to ask his way.

 

He will follow you, laughing and talking, and not a doubt in his heart. 

Keep his trust, lead him straight and bless him.

 

Lay your hand on his head, and pray that though the waves underneath grow threatening, yet the breath from above many come and fill his sails and waft in to the heaven of peace. 

 

-Rabindranath Tagore

Thank you. Thank you.

And here is the sweet Ninja at 4 months.  Over due - as per my style.  haha 

One and Done

As promised, some updates about the happenings over the past month in our crazy lives! 

The title to this post pretty much sums it up. 

The concept of "One and Done" has become a reality for us. 

I know many will judge and honestly, I don't care.  Judge away, and while you do, take a moment to reflect on what we have been through to get here.  The emotional, physical and mental challenges were quite large.  They challenged all aspects of our everyday life.  I won't go on anymore though, either you choose to get it or you don't. 

First stop, Urologist!  Dr. D'A hooked us up with one of the best in Denver, even Joe would highly recommend him.

Not to worry, Dr. Jeremy Weis's office made sure we were totally informed before coming in by mailing us this handy pamphlet:

Here is where I age myself (and you do too)....  Do you remember the magazine "Highlights" as a kid?  Heck, maybe I am lucky and Highlights is still around?  Nonetheless, this pamphlet on getting a vasectomy reminded me of the old magazines I used to love to read.  Quite laughable actually.  I mean, last time I checked it is 2013.  You would think the vasectomy pamphlet making team could come up with a cover that wasn't so incredibly lame! 

I will spare you any additional vasectomy details and only report everything went well.

Second step (and the hardest): What do we do with our sweet embryos on ice? We got the paperwork in the mail about 3 months ago.  This was when the harsh reality of a decision set in. 

 

It wasn't easy.  The what to do piece was never something we thought we would have to do.  Yet, here we were faced with looking down the path of every possible option (and trust me, we did).  We weighed out all the pros and cons and actually really considered some things we never thought we would have in the past.  The conclusion we came to that was a clear win/win for us was donating our embryos to research.  It is our hope maybe- just maybe the research on our embryos will help another couple to get pregnant, stay pregnant, or something (anything) that results in the outcome of pregnancy due to the research.  

At the end of the day we feel honored we could donate to research in such a hard, yet very much needed way.

To quote my husband (on our situation and why it makes sense be to content with our perfect little Ninja boy):

"It's like winning the lottery on a Wednesday and going back Saturday and buying 100k in tickets. Why press your luck when everything you want is right in front of you?"

 

 

 

 

Cliche... but, where does time go?

Oh hey.  HI.  Yes.  Shame shame.  I have been MIA. 

Where does the time go? I know.  It is fast and furious.  

I knew this and was reminded tonight when I logged onto my blog and saw I already had 3 blogs ready to go (not written just subject lined of things I knew we were getting ready to do).  I was prepping for the changes.  I was going to stay on top on them and be on top of my posts.  Alas, FAIL.  I did not.  So here I am focused at this moment on catching up on the one thing that has really shook our lives.  Something we never thought would or could happen.  Something I still cannot talk about that much. 

I will be sure to back track on all the funnies and changes that have been occurring in our lives, but for  now I need to take time for this.

Joe and I lost a friend a few weeks back.  He was my friend, but he was one of Joe's best friends, a co worker and a partner in crime. 

I find it incredibly unfortunate how we take this thing we call life for granted.  I find it sad it takes something so sad and tragic to make you step back and take a full and TRUE scan of where you are in your life.  How you are living your life.  How you CHOOSE to do this. 

We both (especially Joe and his friends) face a very sad weekend ahead saying good bye to a Warrior and a friend.  Please have Joe in your thoughts and prayers and remember to always take a step back and appreciate the people in your life.  See how much those people love and care for you.  Embrace that.  Love and live life to its fullest potential.  Take risks.  Be real. 

Thank you heavens above for my strong Husband, sweet Ninja, supportive family and truly over the top incredible friends.

Husband, Ninja & Kona - reading time is the best!

Oh this face.... it does help to make it all better!  ;)